Confident Writing

Lōkahi: the language of collaboration

One of my writing objectives is to explore what it means to write with aloha, learning on a month by month basis from my top writing coach (and general mentor) Rosa Say. As some of you may know, Rosa explores the values that underpin her coaching and management philosophy at Managing with Aloha Coaching. This month she’s been discussing Lōkahi, the value of collaboration and co-operation harmony and unity. Here’s a brief summary of what Lōkahi means in business:

Collaboration and cooperation. Harmony and unity. People who work together can achieve more.Lōkahi seeks the harmony of bringing people to agreement. It is the value of cooperation, collaboration, and unity. Therefore Lōkahi brings these values to teamwork, defining how those who work within an ‘Ohana in business can be most effective in their collaborative efforts. Lōkahi gives us a demeanor to strive for in working with our peers in the best possible way. We want their help: many hands (laulima) make the work more pleasant (‘olu‘olu) and they move it along faster. With Lōkahi we can achieve more by working together in harmony with others.

I'd been thinking about how to illustrate this value in relation to the written word. In fact Rosa has already come up with some great examples: being specific about what you’re looking for when you’re hiring people, and some of the words her ‘virtual team’ were using in relation to their work at Joyful Jubilant Learning.

Now I was more than a little spooked when I read that last piece of writing, because earlier that day I’d been thinking about penning something on a very similar theme. The narrative thread had hit me in relation to the topic we’d been discussing here – authenticity – and it occurred to me that it was also a tremendous example of how we can use language to support collaborative working. Bringing people together to achieve more.

And it’s such a great example I’m going to stick with it. It's too good not to share some more. It’s moving and inspiring.

It’s teamwork in action. Pull up a chair. The story’s about to begin.

Team work in action

One of the team, Steve Sherlock, is prompting us to work together on a group song. We’ve been lagging behind a bit, not taking the bait, and he’s decided to go public on the site to get us to pay a bit more attention.  The way he starts is interesting. He acknowledges the work that’s been going on up to now – and acknowledges the difficulties he’s been having in knowing how his contribution would fit.

The collaboration and learning here during this month is quite amazing. I was beginning to panic on what I could add to this impressive discussion.

Rosa nibbles and does what we should all have done in the first place: admit she doesn’t know the song, heads off to YouTube , brings back the link so we can all hear it, and comes up with a first attempt at the song. (This is a whole other tangent which you can follow if you like! But it’s important background context: a group effort, a light-hearted task, music, singing, entertainment as a spark for learning.)

Dave picks up on one of Steve’s comments and plays it back to him. This is a great way to build rapport, to show that you have been listening, that you value the words that someone else has said. He empathises, indicating that he shares some of those feelings – and then offers some suggestions for getting over the block. (This is where we great some of the great material on writing with authenticity.)

If thoughts like these creep into your head, (not talking directly to you Steve), take a breath and take comfort in the fact that we all appreciate you for who you are. I have written stuff here that, for a brief moment I thought shouldn't be here. You know, "that's not good enough to remain on this page with everyone else's work."

I just think that if we remain true to ourselves and write from the intersection of our soul, gut, heart and mind, we'll get more and grow more.

Steve comes back in, plays back the comment and makes it more general – a piece of advice that we can all learn from, whoever is listening.

well said, Dave. With the deep breath, allowing the moment of reflection; the true self can arise. We can hear the inner voice, the authentic voice, and then putting it to pen or keyboard become the confident writer

Karen is listening. Somehow, in some way it helps to give her the courage and confidence to publish her contribution to the ‘making a difference’ forum at Joyful Jubilant Learning.

I think you've captured what so many of think about what we offer up here on JJL. It's like the sum of us all is so much greater than us individually that it is very daunting putting ourselves out there. But somehow, that also makes us dig so much deeper and really tap into our own authentic voices! I for one know I am a better person because of who you all inspire me to be. (says she, fingernails in mouth as she presses the button on her own Make a Difference contribution today...)

It is an amazing piece of writing. Straight from the heart. I’m reading it a few minutes after it goes live. Karen, in Australia. Me, in Edinburgh. I’m in tears as I read it, overwhelmed at the way our words, our stories, our voices can somehow connect, intertwine, inspire. I’m not the only one to be moved.

Rosa connects the story back to some of the other things we have been learning recently, like spirit spilling, and writing for the possibility of change.  April isn’t slow to remind us that our words do make a difference and that she will happily remind us of the same if we ever find ourselves doubting it (I do, I’m sure we all do. It’s good to have friends, team members, who will keep on reminding us)

Chris makes Karen’s story real – she links it to the people they will be working with in Australia. Real people, real lives, whose lives will be changed by Karen’s stretch, her belief in herself, her knowledge that she is making a difference.

And we can start to see how our teamwork, our network of virtual support can create a ripple, upon ripple, upon ripple… and who knows where it will end. Stories start to be told. Steve reminds us of the spirit of the geese.  Dave pens a story of his own, inspired by Karen’s words and actions. Greg shares the story of how possibility, how believing that you can make a difference, has inspired him to leap and stretch in relation to his own business goals. He shares a quote with Karen that sets her off writing to her own readers at the Clearing Space, another set of people who are reading, being inspired by words, actions, the energy of possibility, the spirit of Lokahi.

As dave concludes – this story has taken on the life of a boomerang in perpetual motion.

There’s so much in here. I know I’ve written about it at length but there was so much spirit, so much energy, so much about how we can dig deep to write from the heart, to write as our true authentic selves – and so much evidence of what can happen when we do.

The language of collaboration

If you've time to follow the comments and the written pieces you’ll find some of the language patterns for yourself. You’ll find:

• Humour: it started with a song, and there are strands of humour, of shared experience, throughout the thread
• Affirmation: playing back some particular phrases and words. It shows you’re listening
• Specific feedback: paying attention to what people have said and done
• Personal experience: being open about how an experience has affected the team member
• Support: being quick to offer support, ideas, a comment, feedback
• Stories: taking one contribution away from the shared space and developing it in your own
• Authenticity: being part of a team allows each individual to dig a bit deeper, to say things they might otherwise be scared to say
• Openness: being willing to share doubts and fears. I think this is key – it allows the geese to fly in formation because we all know there are times when we’re strong, and other times when someone needs a bit more encouragement and support

It’s the best answer I’ve been able to think of as to what makes virtual relationships different. It’s something to do with the spirit of collaboration. A willingness to share. This is a team of people that come together virtually, that do not know each other ‘in person’ and may never do so given the distances that separate us. And yet we can write together, learn together, laugh, sing and cry together – connected by something intangible - and yet so real that we can sense it, feel it, take strength and comfort from it The words that capture the spirit of virtual Lōkahi are this:

"It is not what we learn in conversation that enriches us. It is the elation that comes of swift contact with tingling currents of thought." (Agnes Repplier)

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You can follow the whole story of collaboration in action at the September Learning to Make a Difference forum at Joyful Jubilant Learning

For more on the spirit of Lōkahi check out Rosa's month long essay series at Managing with Aloha Coaching

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Joanna Young, The Confident Writing Coach
Because our words count

Create a connection at work: writing with 'Ohana

The more I read about managing with aloha the more convinced I become of the power of this way of thinking about, of looking at - or rather of being in the world... to transform the way we do business and the way that we work - including the way that we write when we're there.

This month Rosa Say has been exploring the value of 'Ohana.  Now the meaning of these beautiful Hawaiian  words is multi-storied and multi-layered and I'd be struggling to do justice to it here, but in essence it's a value that means this:

In an ‘Ohana are those who are family, and those you choose to call your family. ‘Ohana is a human circle of complete Aloha, and in managing with Aloha, ‘Ohana is recognized as the best possible form for the association of all stakeholders in a business.

When I first starting reading about 'Ohana I found myself wondering how this could connect to the way that we write - and in particular the way that we write at work.  But Rosa goes on to acknowledge that many people have a 'gut' reaction to the use of the word 'family' (or its Hawaiian equivalent) in a work context, teaching us to widen our understanding of the word and its associations.

So what if we set aside the word 'family' and used some different language instead.  The members of your team.  Not said glibly, without meaning, but with intention.  The members of a team who are in it together. People who work together with a common purpose.  No matter the grade or the salary:  these people are your partners in business.  Your business partners.   And if your aim is to establish a strong and powerful connection with those people who are "in it together" with you - what words can you use to tell them?

Of course words and language cannot change working relationships on their own (you need to walk the talk - and believe the coaching philosophy behind it) but writing with positive intention can reinforce the other things that you're trying to do - and let you down if you don't pay sufficient attention to the words that you use.

So what are some of the things you can build into your writing at work to create a connection - to build a powerful human circle?  Here are some suggestions to get you started:

• Writing to create a sense of family doesn't mean you have to be over-familiar.  Not everyone wants to be familiar at work, and some people find an opening of 'hey guys!' inappropriate and grating, and lacking in respect

• Focus instead on the specific things that connect you together: shared experiences, common language, events that have been significant (good and bad)

• Think about how you use the words "we" and "you".  Are you clear which is which?  Do you know why you're using one rather than the other?

• Use the language of intention: breathe the values that drive your work into the words that you're using and it will become part of the shared currency between you

• Don't fake it: readers can see through fake and phoney messages from 'well-intentioned' managers and will spot insincerity a mile off.  You're better off not saying it than writing one thing and practicing another

• Write like yourself: the qualities of simple, honest writing will pay dividends here - writing with authenticity, demonstrating that you're human

• Be credible: as above, people will spot it if you're faking it.  Don't over-promise or over-hype.  Let people know when things don't turn out the way that you planned

• Don't waffle: that way people can form their own opinions on what you're writing about.  The more excess words you use the more people are likely to think it's camouflage for something else

• Be positive: let people know that you notice the good stuff.  Pay attention to the detail, be specific in your feedback and you'll be letting others know that you care enough to pay attention

• Focus on your positive intention: forget grammar rules, forget the writing style of other manager's (it's normally terrible, honestly), focus on the positive intention that you're trying to achieve and let that drive your writing.

And what do I mean by positive intention?  Well in this context I'd come back to another powerful Hawaiian value: kakou.  Over to Rosa for the explanation:

Kākou is the Hawaiian value of inclusiveness, and means “all of us,” we are in this together. Kākou is very unifying when applied to language, and all are taught to learn, speak, and practice “the language of we.”

Focus on that when you're writing and let it breathe life into your writing at work.  Practice the language of we.  Enjoy the powerful sense of connection that comes from knowing that at the end of the day: we are in this together. 

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One of my writing objectives is to learn more about the spirit of aloha and how we can breathe it into our writing.  There's no better way to learn than writing about it!  You can read my introduction to learning to write with aloha here.  My aim is to explore a value month by month as Rosa teaches them to us.

If you are interested in the values and philosophy of aloha I would urge you to read the work of Rosa Say, author of Managing with Aloha, currently writing about her coaching practice at Managing with Aloha Coaching, plus tons of fascinating back articles at Talking Story

You'll find a few articles on 'Ohana in business on these sites.  One of my favourites is this piece: The 'Ohana in business is a place for business partners

Explore the confident writing at work archive for more suggestions on business writing with confidence.

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Business Writing With Confidence: 6 week e-course with coaching and writing tips to help you write with authenticity, brevity, clarity and confidence at work.  Find out more here

Joanna Young, The Confident Writing Coach
Because our words count

How to be a hospitable writer

I don't know about you but I'd never really thought about hospitality in relation to writing until I got an invitation from Rosa Say to take part in this month's writing fest at her Talking Story blog.  Rosa is a hospitable writer and blog author extraordinaire.  She has also introduced me to the amazing world of Hawaiian values and inspired an on-going project of mine to see how we can build the spirit of aloha into our writing.

Her invitation took me through the waters of writing to make your reader feel at home and then into a deeper exploration of the Hawaiian concept of ho'okipa.  The simple 'translation' into English is hospitality but I have realised through the research I did for the essay that it means so much more than that.  (And the joy of taking part in a learning forum like Rosa's is that you can keep on finding out more as  you go along.)  It also means:

• respect for the dignity of other people
• generosity
• a sustaining environment

I ended up with the conclusion that writing with ho'okipa meant writing with respect for yourself (as writer), for your reader, and for the shared space that you create between you.

I hope that you'll check out my piece at Talking Story and I'd encourage you to dip into the other essays too - plus the comments that follow of course.  There are lots of ideas there about ways that we can build hospitality into our personal and professional lives - including our writing.

Learning how to write with aloha

How do we express values through the written word?  That's one of the things I want to explore through the pages of this blog, looking at ways we can:

• write with confidence;
• write with authenticity; and
• write with rapport

I have recently come along some amazing material on Hawaiian values on the blogs that are written and hosted by Rosa Say: Managing with Aloha, Talking Story, and Joyful, Jubilant Learning.  Rosa explains each of these values with great simplicity and clarity, and already I can identify so many ways that we can try and build these not just into the way that we live, work and manage but also the way that we write.

Although I have plenty of ideas about writing the application of these values to the written word is new to me, and I will be learning with you as we go along.  It should be a journey of discovery for all of us!

My plan is to bundle the pieces under the heading of 'writing with aloha'.

The journey of discovery will include learning what is meant by aloha itself: a word that has multiple layers of meaning.  From wikipedia we see a range of meanings: you may be familiar with it as a greeting word in Hawaii, meaning hello and goodbye.  It also means love, peace, compassion, mercy.  The word comes from "alo" for presence, or front, and "ha" for breath.  The aloha spirit refers to a spirit of hospitality and care.

Rosa introduces the term as love and inner spirit.  She says that:

Aloha is a value, one of unconditional love. Aloha literally translates to “being in the presence of the life’s spirit,” and it is a sharing which is therefore thought of as the outpouring and receiving of a person’s inner spirit.

Rosa goes on to explain and articulate what it means to her - and what it might mean to us.  One of my favourite expressions is "living from the inside out" 

Think of aloha as living from the inside out. Last 2 letters: ha, the breath of your life. You capture the very essence of who you are - no one in the world is like you! When you “catch your breath” you capture the authentic, true, real and genuine you. First 3 letters: alo, your demeanor, the stage presence you put forth for everyone to see. All 5 letters: aloha. Does your outside match your inside? Is your demeanor a reflection of the positive good inside you, and have you captured all your born-in talents? Are you sincerely living, working, managing, and leading from the inside out?

Now I wonder if you can also think about what it would mean to write from the inside out:

• to capture the essence of yourself
• to take of the mask so other people can see, hear and feel your presence
• to share that essence, that source, that power with your readers

And I wonder what amazing difference that might make to our writing?! 

I'm looking forward to finding out :)

A different take on confident writing

I've just stumbled across a piece on the meaning of confidence at 'Talking Story with Say Leadership'.  It's part of the exploration of the Hawaiian concept of "Ho‘omau" which they are focusing on for the month of May (I've just sneaked in before we hit June!).

What struck me was the emphasis on confidence...

not from the standpoint of you having it, but of you giving it to others.

This is a principle that can be applied in many areas of business and life, but would have a powerful effect on your writing.  Try shifting your attention away from your own writing confidence (which may be less than you would like) towards instilling confidence in your reader.  All of the core writing skills will play a part here: an authentic voice; using plain, simple language; being clear about your own purpose and values.  But you could also reflect on your assumptions and beliefs about your readers - by holding on to a positive belief that they will choose the best path to move forward, your writing will imply confidence in them.  And in doing so:

you’ve taken another step forward yourself toward building trust between you.

I've taken these lines from Rosa Say's piece on Ho'omau which she's considered in relation to management and leadership issues - so the attempt to apply them to writing is my own.  I'd love to hear more from any of you who are familiar with these values (it looks like powerful stuff), particularly how we can use them to good effect through the written word.