Have you ever had one of those times when you're ready to start something creative - writing, painting, photography - and your inner critic kicks in, ruining the moment? He (for mine is a he) starts to mutter about how hopeless you are, how your work will never be adequate to the task, how it's probably not worth you starting.
I had an attack of that a few weeks ago. It wasn't about writing, but I think the lessons apply equally well to the writing task.
Time To Get Creative
I was heading off for a long anticipated walk in the west highlands. It was a beautiful sunny day. I had my camera with me - I always enjoy taking photos in the highlands, the light is so wonderful and the landscape inspirational.
What was different this time though: it was just a day after I'd signed up to join Amy Palko's Photography Less Ordinary group on Flickr. I was hoping to get a picture that would be good enough to share with that group.
But as I started the walk I could feel my feet starting to drag. My camera felt like a dead weight in my pocket. I didn't want to take it out and start taking pictures. I didn't even want to get to the start of the loch and the open vista of the hills - because I didn't want to have to take a picture of them.
What on earth was going on?
The Inner Critic
My inner critic was running rampant. The inner narrative was going something like this:
- You need to take a picture that's good enough, interesting enough, out of the ordinary
- You need to take something that's good enough for such a creative group
- You need to take something that's good enough for Amy
- You'll never manage it
- You don't know anything about photography
- You're not creative
- You're not like those other people on the group
- You're trying to mix with other people who are not like you
- You don't how what you're looking for
- You don't know how to frame things in an interesting way
Yikes! No wonder I didn't want to take any photographs.
My inner critic was focusing on the reactions of other people: the desire to please them, the hope of meeting their (imagined) expectations, the fear of anticipated criticism
I took a deep breath, and shifted focus.
Focus On Your Purpose
I thought about writing with purpose, and what I'd say to someone who was trying to write something creative and found themselves in the same tangled knot. I'd say find the positive purpose. A purpose that might be for other people - a gift, a lesson, a thanks - but didn't require or depend on their approval. And then focus on that positive intention. That purpose.
So I looked for mine:
- To be mindful as I walked
- To share my love for the landscape
- To notice some of the wild flowers
- To express gratitude for my environment
- To experiment and see what happened
All of these were entirely within my gift. No one could judge them 'good enough' (or not). The last one was particularly liberating, freeing me up to experiment, and see what happened.
And that's what I did - on the walk, and on Flickr for the last four weeks. Taking pictures, playing with editing, experimenting, learning, sharing. It's a been a bundle of fun, learning, friendship and creativity.
I'm actually very proud of my photographs - and ready to share some of them now - but that's not really the point. The point for me is that I don't really mind if you like them or not because I like them, and I'm enjoying myself. I'm creating, and learning, and feeling mindful as I go.
And guess what: I can't see that inner critic for dust.
This post concludes the series on writing with purpose... leading nicely into writing with freedom (maybe purpose can help to free our words?)
For more on writing, editing, creativity and the inner critic check out these posts at Brain Based Biz (and some great conversations in the comment box)
Why does creativity shut down if you try to edit too?
Find oomph in creative editing! (based on a long comment from yours truly)
The photo mosaic is based on some of the photos I took on that walk:
1. Leaning tree, 2. Loch Eck, 3. Frame, 4. Blue and Green, 5. Picnic Spot, 6. Reeds, 7. A Walk In Late May, 8. Lochside Reflections, 9. Grassy view, 10. End Of The Walk, 11. Gorse Bush, 12. Golden Wonder, 13. Morning glory, 14. Wild Flowers, 15. Rhododendron in bud, 16. Rhododendron: In Bud
Joanna Young, The Confident Writing Coach
Because our words count