What is NLP? The 18th Camel

There are many definitions of NLP.  None of them capture it perfectly.  I think NLP must be a bit like a jelly that is hard to pin down (but good to eat….and you’ll know it when you see it!).  It is based on a set of presuppositions which are the central principles of NLP.  They are not claimed to be true or universal.  They are called presuppositions because you pre-suppose them to be true – almost like choosing to believe them – and then act as if they were true.  This is a good way to start learning about NLP – maybe you could ‘try on’ the different presuppositions and see which ones speak the most to you – make you feel more confident maybe, or relaxed, or perhaps a little strange, or uncomfortable, or intrigued, or just curious to learn more…

Richard Bandler defined NLP as an attitude and methodology that leaves behind a trail of techniques.  John Grinder said it is an accelerated learning strategy for the detection and utilization of patterns in the in the world.  Some people say it is the influence of language on our mind and subsequent behaviour.  Or you could say that it is learning to read maps – your own and other people’s – and the art of changing those maps, playfully and lovingly, to create more choices and open new doors. 

Or you might say that NLP is like the story of the 18th camel...

A wise man rode into a desert village one evening as the sun was setting. Dismounting from his camel, he asked one of the villagers for a drink of water. 

‘Of course,’ said the villager and gave him a cup of water.  The traveller drank the whole cupful.  ‘Thank you,’ he said.  ‘Can I help you at all before I travel on?’

‘Yes,’ said the young man.  ‘We have a dispute in our family.  I am the youngest of three brothers.  Our father died recently, God rest his soul, and all he possessed was a small herd of camels.  Seventeen, to be exact.  He decreed in his will that one half of the herd was to go to my oldest brother, one third to the middle brother and one ninth to me.  But how can we divide a herd of 17?  We do not want to chop up any camels, they are worth far more alive.’

‘Take me to your house,’ said the sage.

When he entered the house he saw the other two brothers and the man’s widow sitting around the fire arguing.  The youngest brother interrupted them and introduced the traveller.

‘Wait,’ said the wise man, ‘I think I can help you.  Here, I give you my camel as a gift.  Now you have 18 camels.  One half goes to the eldest, that’s nine camels.  One third goes to the middle son, that’s six camels.  And one ninth goes to my friend here, the youngest son.  That’s two.’

‘That’s only 17 altogether,’ said the youngest son.

‘Yes.  By a happy coincidence, the camel left over is the one I gave to you.  If you could possibly give it back to me I will continue on my journey.’

And he did.

So how is NLP like the story of the 18th camel? 

Well of course, the best stories, like the best magic tricks, are never explained, but just this once here are some possible meanings….

The wise man demonstrates some key principles of NLP.  He:

• Establishes rapport from the outset
• Respects the family’s view of the world, but doesn’t have to believe what they believe
• Realises that they are doing the best the can with the resources they have available
• Is flexible in his choice of response
• Introduces new possibilities, using existing resources

The intervention:

• Delivers the result the family wanted
• Doesn’t take any longer than it has to
• Doesn’t require the family to rake over the past or relive the arguments
• Leads to increased wholeness (all the camels survive!)

Joseph O’Connor, who coined this example, wonders if NLP could be like the 18th camel as it is brought into the situation by a wise person, it solves the problem quickly, and then disappears as if it had never been there...

With thanks to Joseph O'Connor's NLP Workbook for the fabulous story!